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| When writing, build uniformly and well. (Source: Unity Saga) |
From Beginnings of Rhetoric and Composition, by Adams Hill:
Unity of Form
A sentence may be a unit in substance and yet be so arranged as not to be a unit in form.
1. Dangling Participles or Adjectives
Sometimes a sentence lacks unity of form because it contains a participle, an adjective, or some other word that hangs loose in it.
A: While attempting to bring the boat to the shore, it was over turned.
B: In attempting to bring the boat to shore, we overturned it.
In Sentence A, "attempting" hangs loose; for it has nothing to do with "it" (the boat), with which it seems to be connected. It is, then, a "dangling" participle.
A: There was nothing to see, and, having reflected, nothing to do.
B: There was nothing to see, and, she reflected, nothing to do.
In Sentence A, "having reflected" hangs loose; for it has no subject.
2. Change in point of view
Sometimes a sentence lacks unity of form because, by an unnecessary change of subject, it forces the reader, or seems to force him, to change his point of view.
A: Although we think of Allston only as a painter, he was a man of more than one gift.
B: Allston, though usually regarded as a painter only, was a man of more than one gift.
Sentence B is preferable to Sentence A, because it keeps "Allston" as the subject throughout.
A: Without the slightest doubt but that he would be accepted, and that his great wealth would be an inducement which no young lady would refuse, Darcy approached Miss Bennet as if a great sacrifice was being made upon his part.
B: Darcy, without the slightest doubt that his great wealth was an inducement to marriage which no young lady would resist, approached Miss Bennet as if he were making a great sacrifice.
Sentence A suffers not only from redundancy, weakness, and clumsiness, but also from a lack of unity caused by a change of subject in the " as if " clause. Up to that point, the writer, by making " Darcy " the principal subject, has kept his hero before the reader's mind; but when, after mentioning Miss Bennet, he speaks of a "sacrifice," he leaves one uncertain who is to make it. When the reader reaches "his," he finds out that Darcy is to make the sacrifice; but in consequence of his momentary perplexity he does not instantly get the idea of the sentence as a whole.
3. Subordinate ideas
Sometimes a sentence lacks unity of form because it makes a subordinate idea as prominent as the main one.
A: He went nearer and was astonished to find that the ghost of his of his father-in-law was restlessly wandering up and down.
B: Going nearer, he was astonished to find that the ghost of his father-in-law was wandering restlessly up and down.
In this example, the principal idea is expressed by "he was astonished to find," etc. In Sentence A, "He went nearer" is subordinate in thought, but not in form; in Sentence B "going nearer" is subordinate in both thought and form.
Aim at unity in substance and in form.
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